Happy Anniversary Bujji

Prasu-Kuchipudi (1)_001 Dear Priyeee,
It’s 26th March and on this special day I would like to thank Krishna and you for a beautiful night where we interacted and discovered a world of faith, where we explored ocean of love, where we ride on dreams. I am thankful to you dear lady who found me lovable, who taught me how to love, care and live. I mean my words and i would say that many of times you made me feel magic happens and Life iz Amazing. I love you for everything you did, I am thankful to Krishna that he sent you in my life.  Bujji that night i was in a quick hurry and once i sensed that you have love for me I felt an amazing pleasure, thi mind turned into home of dreams and heart was full of love. I noticed your hints and fact that you were hesitant so i proposed you. I am sorry that i couldn’t make it as a memorable propose but i was lucky enough to get you before those three magical words which turns the world once spoken. I inew i never deserved you but i wanted to be with you, your care was something i got addicted of, you have no idea how i feel with your care and love and when you treat me like your hubby.
Time passes very fast, and in just two years we discovered most unpredictable situations, success and sorrow accompanied ours love, magic which i found in you has lost, but i am really sorry bujji for not being what you were looking for. Every year this day will remind me of a beautiful girl, some broken promises and love on phone where we agreed to love without boundaries, complemented each other with thoughts got commited and then we failed.
Bujji, today i don’t have anything for you or against you but few good memories. You know i came out of those situation when i was keep calling you for thousand of times a day and disturbing you. You should also thank me and my people who helped that lunatic to move on. Now when i read your old texts, your hangout history, shared pictures, videos and thoughts i laugh. Really i laugh and make fun of myself, you know things changed faster than a drama and now I am convinced that Krishna has punished me for ignoring myself and blessed you for your commitments. There are so many good qualities in you, and i agree with you that you are best. I loved your confidence when you said world knows you’re the best. As you already know I never had any exceptional view and also i trust worl so if they found you best you are the best. But bujji do they know you 😉 leave. I am really impressed with your priorities, which is key to any success. I remember just after we got committed you saved my number as SOS number and informed me about that and you made me feel very special. Started planning of marriage but in a year you knew me better and so last year you started ignoring and just after 26th, informed me that relationship was fake. I loved your tricks, to fight with me, like other looser(lovers) i too had digested all your abuses, but not just your love but your ignorance all taught me many of things. We both were different(everyone is) and now we know the difference. I am happy that you made your parents proud and i am lucky enough who got sometime replies from you.
You know I believe in words, and Brida says God manifest himself into everything and so in words. This believer have been taught a very good lesson by the same god who is everywhere. And lesson is if you are believing words you must know the art to read what’s the hidden texts behind the letters. I still believe if you had that art we would have a different story.

I am confused today, don’t know what i am writing, whether am I making any sense or not and will you ever spend your two minutes to read this or not but i am writing, not for you, for my bujji, for myself for all good things i met in my life. I am in pain today, reasons are many but i know how to survive, you are a good teacher and learnt from your love, from your abuse, from your care, from your ignorance, from your belief and also from your cheats, really i loved you and you will always special for me. This night of 26th will keep teaching me to live in moments. I know things are going to be change very soon and the best is yet to come.
Happy Anniversary
Have A Successful Life
Yours Bujji
Thank You

तुम्हें बेवफा कहूँ तो कैसे

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तुम्हें बेवफा कहूँ तो कैसे की तुमने वफ़ा भी कब किया था,
झूठे किस्सों से हमने क्यों ख्वाबों का महल खड़ा किया था,
तुम्हारा प्रयोग सफल रहा, तुम्हे पुरस्कार भी मिल रहे आज,
पर तुमने जो तोड़े ख्वाब, झूठ भले हो पर आज बिलख रहे थे।

कुछ नए शब्द सीख लिए है तुमने, बेहतर जीने की जद को भी खूब समझने लगी हो,
पर उन शब्दों का क्या जो अब भी इन कानों में गूंज रहे है?
तुम जीयो बेहतर तुम्हे मिलता रहे बेहतर,
पर दौड़ ये बेहयाई की तुम दौड़ोगी कबतक?

आज इल्जाम है की क्यों पुराने पन्ने पलटता हूँ मैं,
क्या करूँ एक ख्वाब बड़ी चालाकी से तुमने बदल था तब,
दिल अगर न होता तो हम, न यकीन करते तुम्हारा,
तुम्हारे फिक्र को, उन शब्दों को सच मानने लगे थे तब,
मालूम न था कि कोई ऐसे भी खेलता है,
यकीन करो शब्दों के जाल से तुम बेहतर फांसती हो।
इश्क़ कहता रहा हु तुम्हे सो अब शिकायत भी नही वाजिब,
पर छुपाऊँ सच को, नही इतना मैं काबिल।

तुम खुश रहो आज बेहतर को पाकर,
जनता हूँ मैं भी तुम क्या जीती थी कल तक,
इश्क़ का हमने कल मखौल था उड़ाया,
अब इश्क़ की बारी है तुम मूल्यों को बचाना।
-सन्नी कुमार

आज फिर दिल उदास है

Joker's Diaryकुछ यादों का कर्ज है,
कुछ वायदें उधार है,
दिलबर के हिसाब को देखकर,
आज फिर दिल उदास है..
-सन्नी कुमार
—————————–
Kuchh yadon ka karj hai,
Kuchh waydein udhar hai,
Dilbar ke hisaab ko dekhkar,
Aaj phir dil udaas hai..

Dear Priyeee

Dear Priyeee,

I am sorry that i am writing here, actually you asked me not to write and i had promised sweetie that i wont text you any more. You know all are saying the same thing that I am doing wrong if i am writing for you but you know it was tough, my heart still wants to know the reasons and as I can’t break my promises any more so i stopped texting you. I have stopped calling you because the lady you were abusing deserves more respect than you. Hope you have finally find peace and love at your heart and happy with your life and settlements.

Well i am not here for good words, to expect what you are going through but to remind you and all who are reading this letter that what had happened last year with us, who we are and why i miss myself, why i lost my self respect and trust. I am not here to blame you, not with the intention to hurt you but to let you know that a guy who loves to talk, to share, to make memories has changed now. Your love, or failure of my love whatever suits better, has killed him. Thank you for helping me with the feelings of suicide, with tears, you can call it all an emotional drama, but dear what should i tell you, whom should i blame? Who was villain in our love story? You have not given answer, i don’t know the situations, i tried to get all my answer from your hero, your husband but he was more happy and so he was not getting me. Can i expect atleast an answer from you, your hero, your parents, Kuchipudis or from my reader that why love fails? Priyeee, when i met you, you bring me a new world, I was not knowing much about telugu people, but it was exciting to get a call from an unknown girl and later i knew it was you, a girl from tenali whom i met over internet, our initial conversations had fun and we have enough time for each-other in our early days, may be you were unemployed then and i was never serious for my work so we never missed each other and responses were carrying love and compassion. Sooner you find me idiot, but who cares, i was happy that some one is caring for me and thanks for giving me space where i was sharing about my swetie, my love. You were always raising question on her existence and my brain was buying all your points, in those days you had also problems but you had managed it on own and was not ready to accept with my views when i was suggesting you. Though after two years, you are on the same page which i suggested you to read but no, you had some different plan, you explored a dusty page before so you can know the value of that page and so one day you disclosed your definition of idiot and said ” I Do Ishq Only Tumse” first you loved me, cared me, stayed like a caring wife and then betrayed like those rare wifes, who are hard to find. Great you were, i appreciate the your guts that after all this had happened you send me a text reading “Some people meet you in your life just to teach you a lesson”. Priyeee what you taught me, i am still confused?? Ask you heart why you did this to me, ask yourself would you ever disclose the truth if i had not approached nagalakshmi that day?What kind of love it was? Why you were making me fool by saying i am perfect for you? You have texted me that you have situations, you know i had loved you, and if you had any i can be with you, and can live without you but what kind of gift you had given me? You disclosed an unplanned mistake, we all make mistakes and so we are human but priyeee why to hide, you can simply reject me, or can say you have no more feelings why to make all excuses? I tried to talk with you, but every time you made me cry and left me to die with my loneliness and feeling of getting betrayed? You were mean Priyee, ask your heart if its alive, ask yourself why you loved me before and if it all had happened for a reason atleast let me know the reason why you had loved me? Bujji, i loved you because you cared, you supported me in my tough time but i had not expected this end. On year’s first day we had hugged each other, kisses were in texts but your wishes had not worked and see on the last day of year i am sitting alone, reading my blog where i had posted for you, Doubts and Confusion, Priyeee, Magical Bujji, all tags visited, reading all fb/gmail conversations and then i started writing for you who was proudly calling herself Pr….a chaudhary, my wife. You know i have never expected that you will hide your plans, i never expected that you will go that much fast that i can’t come along, I never expected that a girl who was waiting for me always will stop responding me one day.  Never expected that you will become that much cheap that you will abuse my mother just because i made call to you. I am sorry i never believe in forgive and forget and will keep reminding you and all who trust, who love and then who left by blaming situations. Krishna knows, I never doubted you, but what if i had never contacted your best friend, I don’t think you will share the truth, your secret plans which was actually a rape of my love. I was never expected that the same girl who was forcing me to get married before will make me surprise with all her innocent acts with a drunk guy. Seriousally Bujji I had no idea that situation will buy my love and you will help the sellers.

Deep in my heart, there are still some emotions which are convincing that you have not left but you get trapped. Minds suggests it was better that you left but what kind of end it was, we were not for love, you were wrong bujji and you proved yourself, hope you remember you quoted once that distance is not a barrier, see what barrier you created. In new year i am not going to take your name anymore, hope people will understand you better and you get all what you deserve. This is probably my last letter to you and Kuchipudis, yes I had not written this for you or Kuchipudis but also for all those who fall in love and hide from their parents, hide from their partners.  In joker’s view you should not hide, you are not commiting crime, if they can’t accept then decide it in early days, because with every passing day love, eager and the compassion boosts and if something negative happens then person dies. In every love failure, heart dies, some time only the heart sometime the whole body but it dies. Bujji, I pray for your future, may you both make millions, may your parents overcome all their setbacks. I wish, May Krishna allow me to meet your mummy once. Thank you for your lessons, thank you for allowing me to know telugu people. Hope I had given you enough to remember me, and sorry that i was not what you are looking for and made you to betray me. If possible write your part of story so i can convince myself. Love. Sorry. Thanks.

A request to lovers- Please involve seniors, ask for suggestion, make friends but don’t go blindly, don’t keep parents in dark, if you can’t agree with them take decisions but dont expect for results if you are idle and never break trust. I wish you a very lovely year ahead, spread more love, faith and truth and keep things simple. Thank you! Jai Shri Krishna

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