Another Lie

I Am Sorry Bujji
I Am Sorry Bujji

Hi Reader hope you are doing good and enjoying your life. I have come with another lie where liar of my story, Confusion is struggling. If you don’t know about “Confusion and Doubt” please read these posts.

[Read From Beginning]

[Another Lie_2]

[Another Lie-3]

[Another Lie-4]

 

Confusion, the ruthless guy who has written his first letter to Doubt, The Super Girl whom he loves most, was a break up letter letter which hurt both but anyhow their lies survived and they remain in touch and shared emotions.

After that break up letter they both came closer and cared more, but careless confusion never cared of Doubt’s expectation, he always failed to realize her situation. One side confusion was happy with his zero performance Doubt was busy in her preparation for government jobs. She asked confusion not to disturb and so he followed her commands. Now when Doubt return to Confusion with her success story (she got three appointment offers from Govt. Banks), He felt happy but congratulated halfheartedly. Doubt has texted him number of times that eve and Confusion failed to reply as he was driving. When in night she called they talked for a while and again Confusion’s poor fate came in between and he struggled because of mobile’s low battery.

Things were never normal, not attractive, impulsive or demanding like before, talks were formalities and Confusion has accepted that he should stop dreaming.

Confusion, who works with his friends now a days and working to setup a new business have nothing to show, share and tell to anyone, he is dying inside and his mental state was not like before. The person who was known for his jokes and pranks has now blessed with a burning heart and he is convinced that he should live a lonely life.

Yesterday when he was suffering physically and mentally he dialed Doubt for hundred of times and his poor fate that she was busy in her bank formalities. He cried at his fate, not eaten and were acting like a lunatic, he went to that old chat-room (where they met for first time) but  it didn’t worked.

Then he started writing for Doubt and written this…

Dear Bujji,

Please give me your few minutes, it is not going to change anything but my heart wanted to share it with you. It suggested me to share what i felt/lived in last 1 year with you.

I have not noted every day, not remembered how many times you made me feel that my Life iz Amazing but i have remembered how do we met, those funs and hundreds of texts in a day. I am thankful that you had noticed me and shared your life with me, suggested to focus on my carrier and that saved me..

I don’t know how to thank and actually i don’t want to. You did what you should. I would always praise you for your commitments, dedication and “Just get it” Attitude. I admire you the way you love your heroes and fight for them. There was a lot of things to learn from you, but i didn’t.

It was more than amazing the way we met and thankful to Krishna that he send you at the very right time. I don’t want to make you remind of those sleepless nights, i don’t want to make you realize of the fantasies we shared but i wanted to tell you that i will always miss those days.

You know most of time when you hung up the call i felt like god has taken my life away. You have put me in pressure cooker most of the time, i still imagine what if that day i couldn’t see you message where you texted to  reply you back within 10 minutes or else you would not contact me ever. Thanks to Krishna he saved my dream that day, i have suffered and made you too. I am sorry.

When you got BOB Joining Information, i felt happy for you but don’t know why my excitements got down when i had seen a post about it on FB. May be my failure was hesitant or may be you have informed the world before me. I don’t want to figure out on those when i know how pious your soul is and the importance of your happiness mean to me. My poor brain you know had suggested me to stay away and said that you got result as i was not with you.(Don’t forget we had fight at that time and you were ignoring me, reason you know). I was convinced and ready to stop dreaming and i failed again.

I love you for calling my family as yours and caring for us. When i know that there are only barriers between us and the love which we feels is not coming out to world, I found myself helpless , i hated myself that i was not there when you needed me and i was not strong enough to achieve a goal given to me.

I agree with you that i am dominating and wanted to add that whenever i turned to you it was for my mental peace. You made me feel good always no matter how tough i was living.

I respect your values, freedom and choices. I know that we are living in different situations and i have created so many problems for you. If possible forgive me but haan you made me feel that i am love and in love.

You have doubted me on churail and i have cheated you, sorry but we are just friends, she is my sister from my another mother, and she is also a pious soul and had cared for me. I also wanted to say that i have followed swetie’s profile from yours.

I have nothing to give you, nothing to share, the things i cared of became useless and my things are hurting me now.

For me your love was not a medicine it was an additive drug.

Today i came from Muzaffarpur to Patna, not feeling well, and so called you(sorry for it) but you have not picked, you might be busy with your preparation, Once i opened my fb have seen two posts from you both were meaningful and agree that “Not Knowing is better than Knowing and worrying”. A guy like me who cries at small small things can not make your life beautiful, my mind suggested that we had lived enough together and now we should apart, for us.

I will always pray for your success and my selfishness is that in my story there should be at least one successful character. Please make your parents proud.

I can’t wait for my last day to say you this

Though i have loved you and got double in return,

Though we have dreams of future together,

I found you were suffering whenever i was with you,

I know i have created problems and leaving you to face alone,

All i want to say you now is Please FORGIVE AND FORGET.

“Hold me to your willing heart

And let me—help me—weep

That I of need might fall apart

And then at last might sleep.

Let the truth slice into me

That I might finally bleed

And purge myself of agony

I cannot now concede.

For I have bound myself in light

That I might live in joy,

And cannot—will not—let the night

My bonds of love destroy.

And yet I know if I would gain

The peace for which I pray,

I must allow the floods of pain

To wash my love away.”

Krishna bless you Bujji, Love u Always..(Sorry)

In evening when Doubt came from bank she texted Confusion that she was busy in banks, Confusion congratulated her again and ask to forgive and forget him..

[Don’t know what will happen tomorrow but yes keep believing in Krishna, The Supreme.

My Take-  Be Love as it is better than Being in Love.]

 

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