Two days back when emotions were not allowing me to live simply, became frustrated with my own shadow and this time reason of my frustration was my past deeds. Were totally upset, agitated with my fate and like others i too had the same questions “WHY ME?” I don’t want more but a joker’s role in this busy world where i can perform for the audiences of my choice. Don’t know why my fate goes against my wish. The more i want to make others smile, the more they get disturbed, why god has given such life, such role to me? I’m not asking anything to anyone instead trying to understand others more and more, then why can’t they understand me? I’m trying to do good to others then why all bad comes in my account. Why can’t god bless me with a simple life?
I forget how many questions i had that day and all i wanted to say that i was completely broken and depressed.
I was not able to perform my normal duties. No one was there to value my tears but was crying and wanted to cry more and more. Confessing that it helps to forget the odd times but how many more days i would cry like this. Is this the life i wanted to live, Is this the way joker behave?
Brain suggested to go with my favorite activities but Joker was already flop in his role, he was not smiling but creating problems to others. Then what should he do now? Loneliness was killing more and more and in even in the late night was not able to sleep and then picked a book “The Promise” after reading preface, found it will again encourage me to live dreams/lies, so just left the idea to read a novel but was convinced that book can help and at least i would stop crying to read those texts.
And then Don’t know from where i got the Idea of Reading Shrimad Bhagwad Gita. I started reading and feeling good. I have read first few Prarthanas and Slokas and feel better and in last two days i am only reading this, agreed that not getting the real meaning but it has given me for what i was in search of last 24 years. Sharing a verse of This Holy Book.
“Everyone experiences conditions like pleasure and pain, heat and cold, due to contact of objects with the senses. The senses carry the sensations through the nerves to the mind. One should be able to withdraw the senses from objects, like the tortoise which withdraws all its limbs within. Krishna asserts that only one who has the capacity to be balanced in pleasure and pain alike is fit for
[The Supreme Soul, Shri Krishna Said This To Arjuna, in the battlefield of Kurukshetra, when Arjuna was agitated due to attachment and fear.]
Through Bhagwad Gita, I came to know that “One can overcome sin through Self-knowledge.”
Krishna Bless Us..!